he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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