she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
