My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
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Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
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The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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