I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
