Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
my nose is crying tears of wow.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
