..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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