I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
