i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
