im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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