He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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