LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
