Sober January is a disaster.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
