Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
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making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
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I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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