dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
