we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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