I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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