question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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