I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
