never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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