I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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