If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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