happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
