he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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