my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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