This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize