is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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