Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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