If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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