i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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