i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
