Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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