Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
