Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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