She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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