it was like eating out sand paper
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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