No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
