so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize