who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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