I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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