Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
