Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
