seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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