i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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