And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
