I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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