vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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