thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
