What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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