The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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