Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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