In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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