I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
