I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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