I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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