if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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