Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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