If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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