all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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