And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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