Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
