is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
